The rest of Mother's Monday

Explaining the last post.

In college I took a friend to a funeral of a person they did not even know. I had no idea that they had never been to a funeral in their life! At the end they were sobbing like crazy. They had not learned to deal with the reality of death.

You gotta learn some time, and it is best to learn from mom, dad and close family. When I have taken my young boys to funerals they always come out with great questions about life. Funerals create great teachable moments for kids and families. Be careful which funerals you take them to. Some may create more messes than opportunities.

Here is my promised top ten worst things I have experienced at funerals. The first few are musical miss-judgements. The others are ceremonial mishaps and family messes.
10. Closing funeral for young drug OD victim with Guns and Roses "Knockin' on Heavens Door."
9. Closing funeral service with Jerry Lee Lewis', "Great Balls of Fire."
8. Playing "Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox When I Die."
7. The funeral director closes the casket and begins to lock the lid shut with a crank that fits in the end of the lid. That thing needed some oil bad! It made the worst noises and he just kept working on it.
6. The minister steps onto the green turf carpet covering the edges of the grave and falls in up to his knee. I also know another minister who fell in the grave.
5. A pall bearer lifted on his assigned handle and it broke off.
4. I have been to a funeral where a pall bearer was drunk.
3. I performed a funeral where two grandchildren were asked to sing the theme to Titanic. It has a very long introduction. When they started they found they had the tape on the wrong side. They stopped, flipped the tape over, but then had to wait while it was rewound all the way and then we listened to the long introduction again.
2. I went to a funeral where a man was buried with a beer can in his hand.
1. Attending a funeral at a large funeral home with several chapels is not always easy. I didn't know the family, only the deceased. I stood in line for a long time, got to the casket and realized I had been standing in the wrong line!

Here is the bottom line about funerals. A person's funeral reflects a person's life. Live a wild life, you will have a wild and unusual funeral. Do you stress your family out? Then your funeral will be stressful. Do your friends wonder if you will go to Heaven? Then your funeral service will be tense.

Live your life so that the pastor will not have to lie at your funeral to comfort your family!!!